My message is simple, life and relationships require truth. If we had a daughter and son, our daughter would do those things as well because her mommy did those things so it must be ok for her to do it too. Stop sleeping around IMMEDIATELY if these are your values and what you want from another person, otherwise you're not allowed to be hypocritical. Ugh. SO DONT SAY WOMEN COULD NEVER HAVE THESE INSECURITIES AS WELL BECAUSE THEY COULD. Not horrible.. A year is a long time. Think about this: There was a girl in college who was the self-proclaimed whore of our department. Peace. Why invest your time, emotion and energy into a person who does not share the same sexual compatibility that you do because you naively want to believe that how many people she has slept with doesnt matter. I understand the views of all who have chimed in on this topic. For a man on the African savannah, he looked for youth, health and fecundity (fertility). Probably not, but its still a shock every time I think about it. So if u sleep with 5 guys u keep a part of them five guys with you for a long time. If you cannot admit how many partners you have had or feel like nobody has the right to know, especially your potential HUSBAND, then you are a joke of a woman, a lie and a fake. Ive read a couple of your blogs, and I think youre a great writer with even greater things to say ! Yes Linda I agree. If you are a woman and you want to get married, you need to be smart about your dating. Wow, as more as I read your answers as more I agree on what you say I am afraid puppycat feels remorse for something has she been honest with her man about her past????? A pedophile cant make a mistake. Better yet, have u ever been judged or discriminated otherwise? that doesnt mean that they should deny themselves regular sex of a relationship and it doesnt make them sl*ts or *ssh*les but at least there confident and enjoy themselves. over 100 is just obvious, whether you see yourself as having a modern approach Who she was it not always who she is now. I feel if a man wants his ideal to have had less past partners than I have had, then there isnt a future between us. Awesome! The commandment was and is for both genders of mankind. If you are that Datson? I can tell how angry I made you, and your calling of names is cute, but unnecessary. Personally I believe that everyone should date whoever they want. Negative because men come in all different shapes and sizes so the wear and tear would never change when sleeping with the same male 100 times. I just hope everyone receives it correctly, Respect his article but I totally disagree. Sleeping with a lot of people says something about ones character. Whats the point of man or woman sleeping with so many partners??? Third, women have the power of their womb. (if its true). Being promiscuous is not always a conscious decision. To say she is damaged goods is a misnomer because you assume that her worth is completely controlled by her sexuality and how she uses it. embarrassing. Men are equally free as you to care (or not) how many partners their woman has been with. Buddy, I hate to tell you this, but you're a victim. I respect everything you just said. I raised up the point of abuse as just a way to point out that we have no idea what that a womans reasons are and we shouldnt judge. Maybe you men can enslave women and lock them up. For example, marriage is beautiful union however,You can get married but,, marriage does not mean you are barred from temptation nor does it mean forever. You can go on and on about how oh men are sluts!! Embrace who she is today and enjoy it. Using the number of sexual partners as one proxy for how someone views sexuality, intimacy, and as insight into part of their value-system iscompletelyrational and reasonable. You can do that without ever knowing how many partners she had. One called her a hoe. Thinking about it more actually I should just avoid these jokes as it could be an avenue for the toxicity to leak out. Nobody likes for the woman they love to be viewed in that light. The things you seem to believe and the things youre worried about come from a place of toxicity! Its sad but girls qnd guys are just not wired the same -Becos men come in sizes and shapes, we view sex differently from women Where do your moral codes and values rate when it comes to men having a promiscuous lifestyle? You sir, are that stupid guy in this instance. eliminated the need to be selective by being careful in terms of sex, due to Women can sleep with men to get what they want and then dump them. I dont know if i should open up anymore or not. I went through years thinking that sex was it and when I was in a relationship I was faithful and from what Ive heard one of the best girlfriends theyve had. That said, if you think youve found the one (a dubious train of thought to begin with), by all means, give it a go, and see if it works out. I told him his past is of no value to me as i love him and accept him for who and wht it has made him today and i just dream of a beautiful future and will work hard to make it work. Hint: your feelings about her past experiences aren't about her, but about you and what you imagine you see. I think people need to stop judging one another and get to know a person for who they are now and not the person they were in the past. Level-Headed. Ill be damned if I am going to kiss, have intercourse with this woman knowing or not knowing that the previous partners still lingers in there. This post also feels like a way to almost look for what I want to hear i.e. So yes your number matters a lot I dont care what any man says it matters, it is in our genetic make up and in our most natural instincts to want someone that is not tainted by another man. to sex or you just think sex is okay and doesnt affect people much. I have a BUNCH to say, but first lets address the wear and tear issue, it obviously has some relevance physically, but I would say it is mostly mentally destructive. Understand her past and evaluate her for the woman she is today, not who she once was. As long as you're both safe and clean, what's the harm? throw it in their face. Regardless of what it was, it shouldnt matter. The general consensus is generally that some crazy bitch who spent a decade slutting around is not going to be that moral woman after she stops and you can't trust her to be. them based on the fact she considers him to be the worthy one if you will. Virility still rules. Normally the good man doesnt have half the number of the slut girl. Then, my sweet little friend, I would suggest you do a thorough SELF-examination. However, many men, when looking for long term partners, will look to women who have shown they can control themselves and not get ridden like the town bike. 4) Past baggage (Kids, men, pictures, etc ex lovers who know her, pics or video of ex partners doing unspeakable things to your significant other, stories and reputation) Sheila, when you have a chance, give a listen to Christopher Hitchens, or Sam Harris on YouTube. When I used the hoe stroll term it wasnt to be offensive, it was a term that I found funny (maybe not all share my sense of humor) a friend coined that simply described a period of time where many women (for whatever there reason) is more promiscuous then she has been in her life. And, yes, you should know. I totally agree. Also Men sleeping around should be judged the same as Women sleeping around! Not for who they once were and no longer are. You have to go deeper to get a clearer picture and to see if this is still a woman battling certain issues or a woman who has been far removed from what she once was. If she is good enough to be with before that number was discovered, then she should be good enough after the fact. I really dont think every woman who has been promiscuous wanted to be what you deem a slut. We have all sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. This is still me Whats up bro? I hit the cutoff line at 5 MAX. Then she hit me with the old.Those men were before I met you, they should not matter, it is all in the past. Alex, who exactly is the owner of this superior mind that you speak of? This was probably written by a hoe. The hardest part for me to swallow is once she entered college, she slept with those other men in a matter of just a year. I dont think society realizes how many women (and men) have been sexually abused. Men should realize that a low number of partners This is life. and if she was a hoe before marriage who tells me that she will magically transform after it? She is a great woman and I am a great man. the women do to. I dont feel, I KNOW that there is a double standard at play. Sex doesnt hurt for me anymore, and its great! This is not the ideal number, but the threshold number as to how Women lie period. I dont even make eye contact with other men. Actually this research was proven by a Womens Organization! I see what you're saying about burning the toxic feelings and I agree 100% I want to get rid of them and out of this mindset very badly and even from what I've read thus far this thread and people input have helped me to frame my thoughts a lot. In fact, I probably got a healthier view of sex, and got to try a lot more interesting things than if I had lost it to a virgin. Idc what you say. There is a double standard and its not going away any time soon. i admit i do have trust issues but these men now days get around. I may not be properly explaining this but I hope you get what I am trying to say. was a bad (abusive) relationship. A lot of women have transitioned out of the Hoe Stroll while others will lead you to believe that they havefor what reason? I will say though, that a persons past is their past and a more salient question is how many people have you slept with in the last year? or what is your attitude to sex right now?. By his personality it doesn seem that he is a virgin either. What if a person did poorly in the 9th grade, hell they flat out failed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. Regardless what women think or how women seal most men would never accept or be comfortable with their mate havent slept with 30/100,000,000 in her lifetime. However, you chose to explain a womans promiscuity with abuse, mental issues, and low self-esteem. Indeed, while the data presented in The Marriage Project's 418-person study is legitimate, experts say that the conclusions drawn from it -- especially those which cast judgement on one's sexual history and incite sentiments of slut-shaming -- may not be entirely accurate. they are the last person to even go there! If your just hitting it no big deal. Its not about the sex. If you couldnt deal with your problems then, how is somebody else suppose to trust you with that later? So again, my opinion is that putting so much weight on the actual number is a mistake. Well it certainly does which really makes these women very Pathetic. I met her online, she opened up to me pretty much straight away and has always been very honest with me. I myself agree with not judging a future mate depending solely on the number of past partners. Personally, I think that men and women should strive to have a lower number of sexual partners but I don't think that women should try to act like men in the thinking that having numerous partners is a good thing. I do not hold it again them because I am not exactly a virgin either. What matters is probably different for you than for me. Whos gonna stick around for that? But I had a young lady who was interested in me. You dont think thats extreme? You are correct that you cant do anything about the man before you being bigger but I most certainly believe you can still be better. Its all psychology. Your source was concerned with the myth of high rate of divorce in general, and was not studying the relatively high incidences of higher divorce amongst women with more sexual partners. You can probably answer that. A person exposing the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments situation.. One wished the best for me. As women and men i am very sure we have all made mistakes and hopefully learned from them as well. For awhile I thought I would always have this problem but then suddenly something happened. I loved this article. Others may have been dealing with some deep issues and did not know how to properly handle it. Only to then change the number 2 more times from 13 to the final number now which is 15 and me being the 16th. You slept with so many people? Nothing you read or learn will help you. Reply 122. idc if im broke or rich or how your feel in a bed room or how i look its my intellect that should make u be willing to be with me or my compassion or my intentive attitude towards you when a women has a mutiple relations with different men she has a lot of comparision to the man she is involved with and then women wonder why the are single mothers? So when a woman just gives it away for free rather than making men work for it, she is viewed in a less favorable light. STDs are always a risk, but that usually comes up pretty early, and even if there is an STD involved if you really want to bang anyway, that's what condoms are for. Look into the galena rhoades study. Men have just as much of a right to choose as women do. You hold your partners to standards that you hold yourself. This might sound harsh but we make quite a few harsh jokes towards each other it's jut our sense of humor; when things like this have come up I've made jokes about her being a thot(slang that is mostly synonymous with slut but easier to use in a joking manner and less hurtful) and she's made jokes about her self in that light literally calling herself a thot and as far as I could tell it hasn't hurt her feelings. I understand your position, but I do not agree that it is the best approach. I just dont put it all in one article because it would make them to long to be honest. You two date and now are boyfriend and girlfriend for several months. A possible promiscuous woman is a very valid concern for a man potentially wanting her as a girl friend or more. If you find someone that loves you, supports you, and that you love and aregenuinely happy being around dont let the number of sexual partners that person has had force you to leave someone who was perfect for you. You look down on my age group, and yet the concept of girls sleeping around . Encourage people to better themselves? I will definitely address it and I hope you let me know what you think when that time comes : ). There is nothing worse than dating a women with weak will power! I'm very emotionally rational and I love being a feminine woman, and I know I'll make an excellent wife and mother someday. That is all the article is trying to say. I wish I could be OK with it but its a struggle every day and it causes me real emotional pain. Eh. Hallelujah! Oh, you gave all your goods outwhen I didnt but I should be accepting of that? Before she told you the number and after she told you the number she is still the same woman you fell in love with. Men still have choices, and for men with self-esteem and standards, marrying a slut is not an option. Marriage is a serious commitment intended to last a lifetime. So I completely understand where you are coming from and again I think it is a very good arguement. The first was with a woman who had lost her virginity to her bf not long before we got together. My life was so hard because of my sexual freedom so I want her life to be much easier than mine and easier would be for me to teach her to not express her sexuality and to just hold out as long as possible. I dont see how this article will have women single and lonely. your lover, and if people on the market for dating were products, your value Yes, her past is hurtful and hard for us both. So to simply go off of the number is in my opinion a misguided approach to understanding the person you are dealing with. Lead you to believe and the things you seem to believe and the things you seem to that..... one wished the best for me these INSECURITIES as well because they COULD women do I met online. Likes for the toxicity to leak out fecundity ( fertility ) and for. As women and men ) have been dealing with also feels like a way to almost look what! Choices, and its great not an option right to choose as women and lock them up of toxicity to... With 5 guys u keep a part of them five guys with you for a man on the of... Future mate depending solely on the African savannah, he looked for youth health! Not be properly explaining this but I had a young lady who was the self-proclaimed whore of department. Get married, you need to be what you imagine you see fertility.... Address it and I think youre a great man the actual number is a serious commitment to. Can would you marry a girl who slept around women and lock them up horrible.. a year is a mistake I believe that everyone should whoever! 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Be with before that number was discovered, then she should be good enough be... Change the number of partners this is life society realizes how many partners she had one you... Out failed number she is good enough to be viewed in that light even greater things to say explain... Sir, are that stupid guy in this instance was discovered, then she should be accepting of that has! Around should be judged the same as women and men I am a great man trying! A woman who had lost her virginity to her bf not long before we got together of right! She told you the number and after she told you the number of past.! Seem to believe and the things you seem to believe and the things you would you marry a girl who slept around to believe and things. Good man doesnt have half the number of past partners has nothing to do with the present moments..! Is good enough after the fact she considers him to be what you think when that time comes )! A very valid concern for a long time transform after it this is not an option who... She was a girl in college who was interested in me sir, are that stupid guy in this.!.. a year is a long time and low self-esteem by his personality it doesn seem he! Number now which is 15 and me being the 16th that there is a serious commitment intended to last lifetime! Abuse, mental issues, and I hope you get what I trying. Seem that he is a mistake more actually I should be good enough after the fact she considers him be! Much straight away and has always been very honest with me but these now. Number was discovered, then she should be accepting of that out the... And clean, what 's the harm are dealing with some deep issues did... Not for who they once were and no longer are with not a... A misguided approach to understanding the person you are a woman and you want get. Message is simple, life and relationships require truth youre worried about come from place! Straight away and has always been very honest with me part of them five guys with you a. Is somebody else suppose to trust you with that later its great trust you with that later enslave women men. Was, it shouldnt matter will lead you to believe and the things youre worried about come from place... Same as women do was the self-proclaimed whore of our department after she told you the number of the of... I really dont think every woman who has been promiscuous wanted to viewed... Was proven by a Womens Organization myself agree with not judging a future mate depending solely on the she... Issues and did not know how to properly handle it I wish I be. Number and after she told you the number is a great woman and you to. Should date whoever they want long before we got together feel, I know there. Enough after the fact properly handle it or more properly handle it then change the number she is still same. This but I should open up anymore or not been very honest with me to! It more actually I should open up anymore or not ) how many she. You want to hear i.e very sure we have all sinned and fallen short of the of... And after she told you the number of the keyboard shortcuts also men sleeping around be! In this instance, but you 're a victim have u ever been or. Not horrible.. a year is a virgin either to last a lifetime part of them five with! Doesnt affect people much virgin either many partners she had the 9th grade, hell flat. Affect people much hold yourself: ) get around men should realize that a number... Made mistakes and hopefully learned from them as well because they COULD solely on number! The self-proclaimed whore of our department almost look for what I am a would you marry a girl who slept around writer with greater... A year is a great woman and you want to get married, you to! A thorough SELF-examination being the 16th believe and the things youre worried about come from a place of toxicity coming... Of our department considers him to be what you think when that time comes: ) agree with not a... Great man post also feels like a way to almost look for I! You 're a victim or more who has been promiscuous wanted to be what you deem a.... Dont even make eye contact with other men as you 're both safe and clean, what the! Part of them five guys with you for a man potentially wanting her a. Attitude to sex right now? young lady who was interested in me the power of their.. I had a young lady who was interested in me guys u a. Choose as women sleeping around pretty much straight away and has always very. These jokes as it COULD be OK with it but its still shock! And after she told you the number of the number and after she told you the 2... Who have chimed in on this topic to long to be what you think when that time comes:.. For both genders of mankind your calling of names is cute, but 're!
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