Hot and cold. HE ACTED LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED. Then I gave up on trying to figure it out. ! And he states that he just noticed it then. Its to tell someone what I will, and will not, put up with. If youve been together for a long time (a 7 or 8 on that relationship scale at the beginning of this article), then maybe you can see that your boyfriend isnt making an effort because hes dealing with serious issues in other parts of his life. Sometimes I dont talk to see if hell bring anything up, and the silence is too awkward and long that I give in and say something else. He apologized but I was just so hurt. I think I should take a relationship break but dont want to lose him. I dont want to decorate his car or buy him that cake. When I text, he ignores them for hours even when he is online in the meantime. I know that feeling. Then we were living in different countries. Except I work from home, so I have to watch him do nothing all day and work. Idk what to do anymore. Find some activities/interest that give you pleasure independently find some close friends make some successes in your life that you can gain confidence from and then worry about your relationship when you are on stronger grounds. This article actually helped a lot but I dont rlly know how to let go. Sometimes I felt that he was mad at me, he would say that I was a show off or that I always took things too seriously. These are no games. Take matters into your own hands.be who you need for yourself, Love you and your son enough to care for your own needs. Wow, this article was just what I wanted to hear, Im currently on a break with my boyfriend, he doesnt put effort at all and I had finally reached breaking point, I have to complain about something before he does something about it, one day I broke my hand and he was busy entertaining his boss and colleagues and he never took time to step aside and ask how Im doing. Im pretty sure hell tell me I cant really go because its just an alumni weekend. Then, this guy comes up to me and asks if I was new there. I feel like i am constantly having to fight for us to have a better relationship. I feel like he is not making me a priority in his life. He doesnt pay me a visit at our house- he actually did, 3 times to be exact (there was a celebration in those times). I cleaned his puke and poop from damn near halfway up our bathroom walls from when he got e.coli a few weeks ago, but we have a housing inspection on the 28th and my house looks like a storage unit and its filthy! FUnny thing is that he will get on a call with an annoying know it all bitch he works remotely with and chat. I feel its all one sided. He came up with a lot of excuses such as traffic is bad, I have homework (hes a grad school), oh and the one that always gets on my nerve Im tired. Write in your journal or diary, or share in the comments section below. You deserve better and it sounds line hes managing down your expectations. When we are together he is so sweet and wonderful. But he appriciate my participation in some kind of sexul things. My 30th birthday was two days ago. Hi Jessica, Sweetie this man is never going to love you the way you want him too.He may love you the only way he knows how and its not a healthy kind of love by your comments. He just argues about small and insignificant things such as a goodnight call or text. But after reading the article I realize that Ive just been complaining but I have never taken out the time to ask him, what a healthy happy relationship looks like to him, what his definition of effort is, or what kind of life does he want us to live, with me planning everything for us or what he wants. He compromised but I guess his old self is back .Ive not heard from him today as well.I would understand if he was unwell,Id appreciate it if he could atleast send me even a short message so I wouldnt get so worried. I have asked him to write more often if we do not physically meet so often, but I dont want to keep pushing him for more attention. Like, if they arent happy anymore, why not tell us so we can move on? His was 9 years ago but he is still very bitter. We usually see each other every weekend but he normally works 6 days a week, 10 hours a day so we actually spend less than 24 hours a week with each other. We are in LDR. A couple weeks ago, we went to a show which was our first date in a long time. OR 2) He just might not care at all. He hasnt wine and dine me yet, nor is affectionate until it comes to bed time. You have the power to change someone very important in your life. You are independent. Its just so sad because we have already talked about these no showing of efforts issue and up until this day it is still the same. Advice please? I dont feel that he supports me in my decisions on things. I dont know what he wants from me. Hes a year above me, so he went to the senior high and I still went to the junior high (sophomore and freshman) and he would go out of his way because his school got out earlier, he would walk to the junior high and meet me after school and wed walk home. We both have a lot of jealousy issues and insecurities. My birthday weekend was really rough. Ive been dating Wes for about 6-7 months. he nvr plan for any dates, nvr rlly want to try anything new w me. I talk about this with him. He says it just happened because we live in the same house, so it doesnt matter. I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He sends me photos while he is out with them. Which I practically felt alone and excited to do things by myself. It was great for a few months, but now the lock down is over (here in Europe) I feel like hes starting to make less effort again, prioritizing sports and friends again. Im starting to think he doesnt want to marry me. Yet around the holidays, he has completely dropped off the radar and is barely giving me more than a one word text response back. I just dont feel like he loves me , why am I with him & what is he not getting ? He Is Bored. you are still young and you should take this time to learn about yourself and then find the right man that will want a future with you. He just doesnt make an effort to ask me to do things. I have been doing some self-evaluation to determine the role I played in the relationship. So what I want to know is do this guy and me still have a chance to fix things? he may also feel that you do not put enough energy into him. He gets very quiet and is hard to talk to. I told him I loved him and the only reason why I would ever leave him is if he cheated on me. A. It shouldnt have bothered me except the fact he didnt get me one. I dont get any attention unless Im the first one to initiate things. He commented on Tues night wed do it the next night so I was completely excited and ready to go at then finally at bedtime he laid there with his eyes closed and when I put the moves on him he told me its time for sleep, that we are just cuddling. And mind you the beginning of relationship we always traveled and did things together. When you feel as though your partner isn't giving you the attention you deserve, it can be incredibly frustrating, confusing, and hurtful. We have complete separate paths in store and we have absolutely nothing in common and we also live together but we barely see each other so you would think that when we do have time for one another he would enjoy the time he has with me but it doesnt feel like that. I used to think eventually wed work through the kinks and finally stop arguing. I hope you work things out- either way. He only tells me he loves me on text hardly to my face until I say it first. And also i didnt want to behave with him like that.but i loved him so much and i did every thing i can di for him. And hes unshowered and playing video games! Btw he put his board in a form of a heart on his wall for me . It made me sad, I didnt even hear from him all weekend and then he tells me he misses me. I decided to go back to my place, after wards he decided to send me a text saying we should take a break just like that. Dont turn a blind eye on things that are sign showing and you are not happy for them. He is mechanical and can fix many things. I know he is under a huge amount of stress because of work issues and family issues We dont spend much time with each other since we are both extremely busy, however; I am always keen to plan my time so we could at least spend half a day with each other weekly or every two weeks. My bday in Jan and our 5 year anniversary/V-tines Day was a sh*t show. My ex-best friend snitched to my mom and told her everything about my bf and got some info from close friends about me meeting him secretly so my mom gradually started finding stuff out. However, I started to notice some changes in him, subtle ones. Then he texted me to see how I was doing. Even when you are depressed you can do little things, especially if its for someone you love. Gaslighting, deflecting if I try to reasonably communicate how I feel (because I am not allowed to ever have a problem). If, say, youre a non-stop talker, you frequently talk over your partner, tend to interrupt, and just aren't a good listener, they'll stop sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings because they don't feel "heard." You want him to be different. We are ok, but I still do everything, I cook everything, he never cooks for me, I clean, washing, I get the shopping, he wont even take the bins out when I ask, because of my approach apparently. My boyfriend had a terrible marriage and an even worse divorce. And that way, you will realize how worthy, unique and precious of a human being you are and genuinely feel that such a gem deserves much more than what you get from your boyfriend. Been with my boyfriend 2 years.he told me he smokes pot, which than i said im not supporting your habbit (which i meant financially). im in the same boat as you and it really sucks. My boyfriend is Lebanese and given the situation there (economic crisis, unemployment rate and poverty rate are getting higher), he began manifesting symptoms of an overly stressed man. Nothing cleaned up, ingredients still on the counter, and not one thing made for me to eat.. and even better, after letting me in the door, not a how was work. Thats was our first time seeing each other in person (granted, Id seen him randomly beforehand in elementary school years before that). Please give me some advice pleaaaase. Hes lives far from me so our relationship was based off of ft. We would stay up all night on the phone and talk and then he slept during the day but he sometimes would call me. he again skipped it. When you're unpredictable, he'll get more excited when you reach out. I dont know if anyone has experienced this before? My issue lately is, he will tell me he will come to my house on Saturday after work, then later he will call and say he has to go get his dogs and pick them up. I stayed because I felt that I deserved to hear those things, I was being enlightened about what others saw in me but were just too polite to say to me. I had the same thing. BUT both have to put in the work and if its not happening the work then its not happening and we are settling. If he doesnt wake up and go on the game he wakes up and lays down on the sofa (when not at work) I do all the DIY. Oh my goodness. He doesnt ask about my life and hes still working with his ex wife in a business relationship. But again, ask if he wants to just get anything off of his chest about his father, and just let him talk. When a partner is heavily distracted by other commitments, tasks, stress, and anxiety, they may find it too challenging to redirect their attentionand they may even be so wrapped up that your needs don't even register. It just happened because we live in the same boat as you and your son enough to care for own. 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